How I Feel About Scrum Starts

So roller derby today involves a lot of scrum starts. They look sort of like rugby scrums (not that most of us have played rugby.) The top teams are all doing scrum starts. The strategy has funneled down to teams all over the world. I don't like scrum starts.

As a jammer, I don't like them because it seems to involve a lot of illegal contact. Watch Bonnie Thunders attack a wall in a scrum. The best jammers literally push with their thighs against the asses of the wall of blockers. This takes a lot of faith in your opponents. If they wobble, the jammer risks getting a backblock minor. If they fall, it can be a major. The fact that the jammer is initiating contact to the ass of the blocker is illegal. I was jamming in an invitational when I made incidental contact to the back of a blocker with my thigh. She didn't wobble, but I was still assessed a minor backblock. I don't want to risk fate any more than that.

As a blocker, scrums are chaotic. It's 10 people in like 2 square feet of space. The jammer seems to escape from my wall. So the jammer is escaping and the wall of blockers is almost at a standstill. You don't have the momentum to catch her.

If you ask me what I want when I'm jamming, I will not say a scrum. I want you guys to take off the line, so I have room to get some momentum and get my head in the right space. I know I'm part of a team, so if scrums are what we're gonna down, I'm gonna put my all into scrums. But I'm secretly praying the new ruleset kills them.

Practice Tonight

...was friggin rough. And since I feel that strife and pain make the best blogging AND I owe you guys a post, here we go.

So I had fondue with my dear aunt and granny this evening at the Melting Pot, but I did have to cut it short to open the Warehouse for Open Skate. I am severely low on sleep (I reckon I got 2 hours last night thanks to the heat) and had a ridiculous sort of day at work. I tried to nap but managed less than an hour of nappage. So I'd considered just opening up for Open Skate then going home, but of course, I got a ride there and was scooter-less.

So I skated through a practice that killed my toe (it's still recovering after its toenail problem) and twerked my bad foot. I stayed for the A-team portion of the evening which had me coming up the loser in a number of wheel locks. (I'm still getting used to skating with these individuals.) I took a nasty fall right onto my ass. The very same ass I broke all those years ago. Spasms of pain, tears in my eyes, totally winded...I needed a second to get back up. I think maybe my trucks are still too loose. My skates still felt squirrelly on my feet.

Anyway, my night was shit. I feel like hell. This was not an excellent start of a bout week. And I've got another 7 am shift tomorrow.

BUT: nobody smacked me right in my shoulder. I haven't broken any trucks in a few weeks. Tomorrow night's B-Dazz practice is being led by Fister. Moll Adjusted made the roster to play Star City (yay!). I dipped many delightful things into chocolate. I'm almost positive my ass is not re-broken. And my bed is calling me.

Thanks for staying through the bitching. Things will be better tomorrow.

Heat and Water

So I've mentioned that I live in Charlotte. And that I practice in an unairconditioned warehouse. It's really important to hydrate, but replenishing electrolytes is also important. I've studied the subject a little and I know that there's a lot of words I don't understand involved in the science, but I understand the principles.

Exercise takes a lot out of the human body. Drinking water is good, but it's not enough. If you're leaving sweat stains on the floor, you should probably replenish.

There's a lot of science to how much you need. You shouldn't try to over-replenish. Your body naturally refuels on its own. If you try to put too much in, your body will totally stop refueling.

When most people think electrolytes, they think Gatorade. But it's far from the only option. Coconut water is gaining notoriety these days, but I have a big problem with it. Coconut water tastes disgusting. Luckily they come in delightful flavors. I like O.N.E. Coconut Water's Pink Guava flavor. There's a flavor for everyone.

My other favorite option is a powder. I tried a couple different ones before I discovered Ultima. It's sold at the Healthy Home Market (I haven't found it anywhere else yet) and comes in several flavors. My favorite is grape. The different flavors do have different levels of electrolytes though. It's sweetened with stevia and natural flavors. Instructions say to add it to 8-12 oz of water, but that's a little strong for me. I add it to my 25 oz water bottle and go.

The difference between when I replenish electrolytes and when I don't is noticeable. It's the difference between feeling engaged and present in practice instead of feeling sluggish.

If you've found other ways to hydrate and replenish, let me know. I'm happy to try out other things!

Today, The Derby Happened

This was perhaps the best bout ever. (That almost became "boutiest," which is not even remotely a word.) Both CLTRG teams posted wins. The All-Stars won a sanctioned game and B-Dazz beat their rivals. I got an MVP award. I could not be more pleased or exhausted. I promise for this post to be fully written manana.

Update: Awake and refreshed this day.

I would now like to tell you about the day that was yesterday.

I did not feel on it all day. Setup was confusing. I had no clear plan of what I wanted for lunch. I did a sort of driveby past Lacey and Sassy teaching their pseudo-son Armando to use the atm. I had an interesting talk with a leaguemate I cried some. I thought about the last time we played Charleston. I wasn't even sure I wanted to play. I felt low.

Team warm-ups made it better. For the first time ever, our B-team bout was to be second. So we did our offskates warm-ups upstairs. It was clear we weren't exactly taking it seriously. So, we had a little dance party. I think that really got everybody pumped up. This may be a new tradition.

Our onskates warm-ups felt a little scattered. I don't think anybody was focused. I know I was contributing, but I couldn't get into a better head space. A teammate got some bad news that morning and was trying to get herself right.

The A-team bout started off well. They took a knee at the jammer line in the first jam, got lead and scored a quick 14 points. That was exciting. It's nice to see our All-Stars be rockstars. They continued to dominate the whole game. After the first half, I didn't want to get too involved in the game or tire myself from watching, so I went and chilled in the locker room and started to get geared up.

We decided to try a scrum start in the first jam to get lead fast, but that sort of backfired on us. However it became a powerjam or something. I think it was in that jam when our jammer, Hitstera, was charioting off me and I hit one of the blockers out of her way and opened up a whole and then swung across and hit another one of their blockers and cleared a wide path for her. That was one of my favorite moments from the evening. We posted 9 points or something on that jam.

I jammed a lot last night. Pretty successfully too. I didn't really get stuck in the pack for too long. I did go down a few times, but I absorbed more blocks than that. They were hitting me, but it just wasn't strong enough. We took an early and managed to increase it. We got up 50 points and really started making it happen. Charleston seemed to get a little desperate. There were a lot of jams I saw where they got lead, but didn't call it immediately and scored points but let us score too. There were a bunch of jams that were basically 1-0 for them, but after we'd gotten a significant lead.

My second favorite moment of the night was in the last jam. They called a timeout when there was something like 28.7 seconds on the period clock, so we got one more jam. Leah/Hits jammed and I was blocking. I think Alley Capone and Mustang Stella were out there. It turned into a powerjam. I kept telling them not to chase goats and just caboose instead. At one point, "NO PACK" was called and Ringo Stardust turns around and skates backwards in reforming. The game was won at this point. I just looked at her and smiled.

Great job to both teams. It was amazing to have two wins for a home crowd.

The afterparty was lackluster. We were promised karaoke but that did not happen. So we had dry chicken instead. And after all my hard work, I received an award. The "Unforeseen Threat" award. I suppose that's a Most Improved kind of thing from February to now. Also, we sort of stormed Jackalope's next door as they had karaoke and I got some free Rock of Ages swag, but the karaoke machine went down and would not come back before I could sing. I did get to hear O. Fine's rendition of "Baby Got Back" which is on the list of my favorite things in the world.

Here it is, a tiny skateboard.
Sorry it's sideways, I apparently can't rotate it here.
In case you were wondering, the trucks don't pivot.

So, that's the picture. Let me explain. I'm on the Bout Production committee. I've noticed that in the NFL, MVPs get like a Corvette as their award. I thought it would be clever if we did little toy cars, as in, 'Here's your free car." MVP Jammer got a little sports car. MVP Blocker got like a Hummer. The Unforeseen Threat award was an idea we kind of took from Charleston. Thanks, guys! And our head of BP, Tasty Murder, wanted to have it be like a white windowless "Creeper Van." But hey, the store doesn't sell them. So it's a skateboard instead. What's more unforeseen than a skateboard? And Hell Vetica Bold found this website that prints these little cards, hence the tag. On the reverse, it has the logos of both teams and the date.

I set this goal for myself, that I would consider moving up to the Charter when I received an MVP award, because it would then mean that my peers were also recognizing my growth. It might be time.

Roller Derby Saved My Soul

Hi, my name is Rita and I play roller derby. I joined the Charlotte Roller Girls almost two years ago and made my debut this past Feburary. I have given a lot to roller derby and my league, but they have given me just as much. I couldn't ask for a better group of women to skate circles with several nights a week. Sure, we have our disagreements, but we're doing this thing together and I respect that.

Roller derby lets me live a world outside the norm, and not just because of the shiny pants and fierce name. I'm a little bit neurotic, truly. I probably have OCD, and my rituals tend to interfere with my daily life. I'm also a bit of a germaphobe. That, coupled with the fact that I work in food service, means A LOT of hand washing. I always have several bottles of hand sanitizer with me.

But derby cancels that out. Our Warehouse is our home, but it's got its challenges. There's bugs that crawl across the track sometimes. There's bit of cobweb that float down from the rafters during practice. There's dust in the corners that we just can't clean. But when I'm at practice, I don't care. I left my mouthguard in the Warehouse (on the floor, of course) for more than a week and when I found it, I put it back in my mouth. Building up my immune system, you know?

I've come to terms with turning left most of the time, since I did so many right turns back when I danced. I figure my equilibrium is balanced enough now.

I have a little quirk about cracks. I won't go into it because it will only make me obsess about it more, but if I step on cracks, I freak out. Needless to say, there are cracks in the floor. I don't notice them. I don't get all obsessed and have to go even things up.

Roller derby has strengthened my muscles. It has increased my determination and drive. It is a hobby that has given me several other hobbies. It has given me a network of friends and family. And it has made my brain calm down. There's no room for neuroses when you have to kill the jammer.

An Open Letter to CLTRG

So we had a scrimmage tonight. I have reflected upon my own performance and have no more to say about it. Instead of a negative post, I've decided to write an open letter to my league.

My Fellow Charlotte Roller Girls,

We live in North Carolina, folks. Whether you married into it, you were born into it, work brought you here...you live in the South. And in the South, it gets hot. This is because we are nearer to the sun than our Northern friends.

We've just gotten through Memorial Day, which is the unofficial start of Summer. Sure, the Summer Solstice is weeks away, but kids are done with exams, pools are open, and grills are fired up.

More specifically, you chose to play roller derby down here. We practice in a dusty, old warehouse without any climate control. During the day, our bay of the warehouse sucks in heat and doesn't release it all that well. These are the facts of life.

So it's gonna get hot. The Warehouse is a temperamental beast. It will be so hot and humid in the coming months, you will consider playing derby naked. Hold onto these memories for when January rolls around and you can see your breath.

For those of you experiencing your first summer in the Warehouse, please remember to hydrate. Make sure you consume protein and keep your blood sugar up. If you start to feel faint, chill out. Go hang out by a fan and get some ice on your neck. Hydrate all day, every day because it's not just during physical activity that it counts. Do not drink too much water or you will feel sloshy and bleh. And for those of you experiencing a Warehouse Summer again, don't forget all these tips.

It is not wimpy or lame to sit out if you're overheated. It's what your body wants you to do. Do not let the heat get to your head and let your skating get sloppy. It's that much harder to keep yourself under control, but it's that much better for you.

I promise to keep these tips in mind so that I, too, will be at my full strength in the upcoming months. And just remember, if we can play derby in the hot and sticky, we can definitely deliver some whoop-ass when we play opponents in the ac.


A Concerned Teammate,
Rita M

Be Your Own Hero

Know what's amazing about derby? Well, everything. But largely, it's women following their dreams. We are a diverse group of women and men (only because the boys saw how much fun we were having) who come together united by a single purpose. Ask your leaguemates why they play derby sometime. Some of mine say it's the fitness or the camaraderie. Others say it's their Midlife Crisis. I just felt this draw to it.

So I started with the Charlotte Roller Girls in August of 2010. I was 18 at the time. I read the rules. I knew the minimum skill assessment items. I was excited and informed. I was all, "I wanna be a jammer!" And then I did my first 25 in 5 and saw the grannies skate and said, "I wanna be a blocker!" I had kind of a reality check. I thought, I'll pass assessments and get good at blocking, then maybe I'll get fast enough to jam.

So I pass assessments and flail through my first practices and scrimmages as a granny. I overwhelmingly have no idea what is going on in derby. Though I did have excellent awareness of not cutting the track.

Well I took some excellent advice from my dear derby wife once I passed assessments. She told me, "Always volunteer to jam during scrimmages." It was good advice. Most people will not take the star. They see themselves as blockers and hate jamming. Jamming helps you become a better blocker because you see the other side of things. It helps you with endurance. It helps you learn to fight through walls in high-pressure situations. Following this advice, I was sure to always hold my hand out for the panty.

And it has wound up with me being considered one of my team's jammers. But I'm not your average jammer build. I'm not a tall, thin jammer with mile-long legs who'll jump the apex. I'm not a small jammer who's so fast and tiny, anybody who manages to see her can't do anything. I'm actually a jammer who occasionally plays power blocker. I'm steadier on my feet than some. I can absorb blocks well. I do find myself hitting players out of my way (I'd like to develop that ability more). So now I've become somewhat of a valuable player to my team in that I can effectively block and then turn around and jam.

This story is just to remind you to follow your dreams. Some of us come to derby from an athletic background. That's great, grab some skates. Some of us are decidedly unathletic. You too, grab some skates. I haven't had much luck with sports in the past, I did some dance, I played disc golf...but I have put my all into derby and it has rewarded me. So now it's time for you to put on some skates and follow your dreams.