Since we're still on break from practice, here is a break from my usual posting. It's a little after the holidays, but still works for birthdays, derbyversaries, Cinco de Mayo...
This is by no means a comprehensive guide, this is based on my own personal experience and what I've observed from the roller girls around me. Also, this is mostly for Significant Others of Roller Girls (SORGs), but it applies to other relations as well.
If you really love her, two words, Rollercon tickets. Has she got those? Plane tickets to Vegas would be a great companion gift. But, if your lady can't get the time off work or whatever, here are some other ideas.
Wheels make a great gift, but there are as many kinds of wheels as they are roller girls. So what do you get her? Do you know what she skates on? If not, I know this is counter-intuitive, but open the gear bag. Can you see the skates? Can you get them out or are they tetris'd in there so tight that only she can get them out? If you can get them out, look at the wheels. Can you read the manufacturer on the wheel? It could on the outside of the wheel, or the inside near the truck. Has it worn off? Well, at least remember what color they are.
Ask the derby wife. She's a valuable resource. Do you know who her derby wife is? If you can look in her phone contacts, it'll be someone with a name like, "boom," "slam," "block," "beat"... and maybe a heart next to it. If not, look on Facebook. On whose page does she post videos of derby and new gear and rules updates? Who is the girl in the league shirt hugging your woman in all her pictures?
Ask the derby wife what kind of wheels your girl has/wants. Chances are good she's said to this individual either:
-"I love my ______, but they're going bald."
OR -"Have you heard about the ________, I'd love to try them."
"But Rita, I just bought her new wheels for Flag Day, now she needs something for her birthday/I can't read these bald-ass things and her derby wife has no clue."
If you answered number one, congrats on being the best SORG ever. If you answered number two, that's ok. If you managed to look at the skate, does she need new toe guards/duct tape? Stocking stuffer! Team colors, please.
OR there's the world of bearings. They're tricky, but every girl could use an extra set. If you girl talks about how fast her bearings are, be prepared to shell out some bucks. She's probably got ceramic. If she talks about how cheap her bearings are, or how quickly she goes through them, get her a set of Mini Logos or Bones Reds for between $20-$30. (It is important to get her 16 bearings, because they are usually sold in sets of 8, for skateboards.)
Again, did you see the skates? How do the toe stops look? They wear quickly, especially if your girl jams or does a lot of turning toe stops. The occasional roller girl skates with just a set of jam plugs. These are fairly inexpensive and she'd probably love to have a spare. If you know what kind of toe stops she has or wants (here's where the derby wife comes in), you could get her a set. But if you don't know if she's got Powerdynes or Gumballs, you might have to do a little research.
Interlude: Be sure to check with the derby wife. It would really suck for you to both buy your skater the same gift.
And what about her safety equipment? If she's doing this any length of time, she probably needs new wrist guards. Next time she washes the pads, look at the brand. Pro-Tec and Triple 8 are common types. A regular set of skate wristguards run about $15. Now if she's got something fancy -- spoon-shaped brace, only one splint, gloved guards...lay off replacing it unless she's specifically asked for something. If she's still skating with her starter elbow pads, spend the $20 to get her a new set. If the derby wife tells you that your girl girl wants the new Atom elbow pads or some 187s, go for it!
Skate tools are important! If your girl has the little silver one that came with her skates, she'd probably like an upgrade. If she doesn't have one at all, she definitely needs one. Powerdyne sells a great combination axle, kingpin, and toestop wrench and it's kind of triangular. If your girl is a little handier, the Reflex Utilitool includes a bearing tool, axle rethreader, pop-out allen wrench...hell, she could take the plates off her boots with this thing. It's like a handheld fairy godmother. (I got one of these for Christmas, I love it!) If she already has the Powerdyne or is happy with her tool, Powerdyne also has a bearing tool that would make a great addition to her skate bag.
Now if you've gotten this far and are either a) so baffled it hurts or b) so awesome you've already bought all this stuff for her -- look at her derby wardrobe. A roller girl can never have enough tights. Double points if they're league colors. Buy her booty shorts, leggings, fishnets, practice tanks, tutus, sports bras... Hell maybe even get her name (in at least 2-inch characters) and number (in at least 4-inch characters) printed on a black and white shirt. Note, if you buy her lingerie, she'll wear it on the outside of her clothing and show all her teammates.
Just remember, the best gift you can give her is your support. Anything more is just bonus. So buy tickets (and sell them to everyone you know), make signs, and cheer your own personal superhero on at the next bout!
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