Sorry Guys

Sorry I haven't been posting as much. I have a couple of drafts that I haven't touched or posted. For that, I'm sorry.

I've been thinking some about my blog. I feel like it's grown kind of stagnant. I don't have the same struggles I did when I was trying to pass assessments. I don't know if it's as interesting anymore. I'm trying some new things, so please feel free to let me know what you think.

My first actual topic will be: accepting praise in derby.

6 months ago, I had just passed assessments. We were nearing the end of the season. The B*Dazzlers had just 2 more games. I could hit a little, but my hits were feather-light. I didn't know jack about strategery.

When you start at the bottom, you have a long way to go. From there, I've become one of the top skaters on my team. I'm a frequent jammer (go figure) and apparently a blocker who knows what's going on. I've gained a lot of speed. My 25 in 5 time dropped 30 seconds or so from June to September of last year.

So I've gotten a lot of positive feedback. It's sometimes difficult to deal with. We get critiqued all the time. A coworker tells you that you forgot something. A teacher tells you to be more in-depth with an answer. Your team's coach tells you to get lower, hit harder, and pay more attention. Critique happens daily. In the world of theatre, you say "Thank you" and fix it. Elsewhere, you nod or say "OK" and make a note to fix it.

Derby is not something that any of us grew up doing. About a decade ago, some women in Texas brought the game back to life. They learned mostly through trial-and-error. Since then we've formulated some ideas about how to train for and learn the game of derby. At first, you're always doing it wrong. Eventually, you don't cry or vomit as much, and get yelled at less.

But praise is something totally different. Even writing this blog I'm second-guessing some of the things I'm saying about myself. I had a long battle with self-esteem, so I'm better able to accept the positive things people say, but it's never easy. I just try to step back, say thank you and tuck it away. The same thing goes for when I'm in practice and doing some kind of drill and somebody says "Damn" (or something to that effect) when they have to try to get around me as a blocker or something.

I try to keep these things in mind for days when life gets me down. I keep these things for days when I'm jamming against the strongest blockers in the league. These little bursts of nice can really help out. When I get down and I think I suck, I think about the time I juked one of our most aware players. Or the time that I scored 20 points in a scrimmage and my team all high-fived me.

This is a tough sport, and you'll never get anywhere being down on yourself all the time. So cheer up, get lower, and thank someone trying to compliment you!