This Morning...

I should've gone to practice. But I couldn't. I was not in a place emotionally to do so. And I had a lot of trouble convincing myself to take off my warm jammies and get into tights. I couldn't face the warehouse at 30 degrees. I missed the point where I had to leave to be able to take the bus on time...

Anyway, I feel crappy about it. I need to go skating soon to make up for my lameness this morning.

I know this isn't a strictly derby-update, but it's related...

Parade

Twas the parade today. Oh yeah. Waking up early to go walk in the rain. Those roller girls, man, they really make it worthwhile.

It was raining. And cold. And everybody was freezing. I was glad I had not passed assessments and was walking, because I wore jeans!

The roller girls had a LOT of fun. It was fun to be around them. They were skatin' around, actin' a fool. We had some guests from out of town and one of them was jumping over girls.

We were in front of the Charlotte Royals, our favorite rugby boys. They were in good spirits despite everything.

A fun time was had by all.

I went home and watched the parade and though football wrap-up delayed the broadcast, it did come on eventually and there I was, RIGHT in front of the camera. Teehee. They missed the jump that Jess did in the area. (They also cut the Royals, which I was sad about...)

Then I went to Golden Corral and pigged out.

(I know, this was not the most eloquent post I've ever written, but I'm tired and full. Forgive me.)

Assessments, Day 2, Take 2

I would love to say I passed. I would. But I cannot. I had to quit assessing due to injury.

So this morning, we had quite a mixed bag. Grannies, newbies, brand newbies, assessing newbies, and a ref. (Yay Scuzzy!)

We all warmed up and the trainers asked us to do 25 laps non-derby direction. Seemed daunting. Not in a pack. It wasn't timed. So we start. I'm not bad at non-derby direction, though I'm used to doing it outside the track, so I turn a little wide. Anyway, I'm proud to say that I kept up with Jack the Maniac, one of our fastest skaters, until she lapped me somewhere in the 20s.

I felt kind of off. My skates felt weird. I didn't think it would be a good day...

We then began with Day 2 stuff. We didn't quite realize it though. We did a paceline with weaving. I thought I did well, but I have no idea. Except for the second time when I fell. But I got right back up and continued.

We did whips and such next. I think I might've passed arm whips. I did well. Next was hip whips. First we took them and I did well with that. Then we gave them. This is where it happened. Someone came up and took a hip whip from me. I went down. I twisted and flailed and went down right on my knee. No slide. Straight down. I got up and kept skating and another granny took a hip whip from me. Down again, same knee. I went to the center and sat down, tried stretching the knee. I got up, gingerly, and tried to continue. We moved on to pushes after that, but I had to sit out.

They asked me if I thought I could continue or if I'd have to quit. Weighing my options, I elected to stop. They asked if I'd be able to continue with the other newbies or not. I said I'd like to ice my knee for a bit first. I managed to get up again, but squatting hurt, so I just very tenderly skated.

So I quit, but for my own good. It did not hurt my pride (much), I knew I was doing it for the benefit of my body. If I'd passed and injured my knee further, I'd have to sit out practice/scrimmage. If I'd failed and injured my knee further, I wouldn't be able to schedule any redos to be able to pass. So January assessments, here I come.

Yes, I Can!

You know, the other day, I experienced a lapse in faith. I started thinking that I wasn't ready to pass assessments, I wasn't ready to become a granny. I doubted my abilities. I doubted everything.

And it totally screwed me.

Gone was the, "I am GOING to pass assessments" mentality. In its place was, "I don't think I can."

It was not a good thing. I screwed up some stuff on Sunday that I really should not have. And then Monday night was just a marathon of suck. I was frightened of what mysterious things a granny practice would reveal.

(Ok, I had a brief hiatus because my cat decided I could not blog, I had to love her.)

Anyway, it was all bullshit. Doubting myself caused me to screw up. I went into last night, still nervous, but more positive about my chances, and it made a huge difference. I was able to execute several successful plow stops, my derby stance was better, it was just generally a better mindset.

It's ok to be scared, but it's not ok to let that prevent me from trying my absolute best. Yeah, I'm not as practiced with some of these skills, but that doesn't mean I can't try.

Also, I went down the list of skills and instead of agonizing over what I didn't pass, I congratulated myself on what I did pass. I got my 25 in 5. I didn't know if I'd be able to do that. That was a big deal. I passed every single fall. And I didn't put my hands on the floor during a single one. Single-knee left and right; single-knee, 180 degree; baseball slide; "6-point"...I did all of those. I'm proud of that. I passed stepping and hopping. I passed focusing. I passed my rules test. Every single one of these things is an accomplishment.

So I'm glad the lights went out last night. Gave me time to reflect before I go hit some bitches!

Assessments, Day 2

So this evening, we were to get there at the same time as normal practice (7:30 pm) and warm up with everyone and then we'd squeeze in our redos, and start doing our Day 2 skills. Foxy was hatin on my tutu. I was super psyched and more than a little nervous.

They had us skate around and practice things while they did the 25 in 5. One of us had to redo that skill. So I worked on getting used to the colder floor.

Aside: Our floor is a concrete floor, I hear it's a little faster than what we bout on, but having never used it...anyway, it's gotten chilly in our warehouse as it gets cold down here in the South. So the molecules and stuff in the concrete don't warm up as much. Thusly the floor is faster, less grippy. We've been noticing this at least since last Monday's scrimmage.

So I failed t-stops and plows on Day 1 (Sunday). I fell on 2 of my plow stops. I spent some time working on those today. I refined my technique to work with the floor. I worked on my stickyskating also.

So they get done with the 25 in 5 and the grannies start a non-derby direction pack drill. I head to grab my water and join the other assessers when SUDDENLY the lights go out. We've had the lights not come on, but no one seems to have encountered them going out like that.

So the offskates folks start trying to trip the brakers, flip lights, reset...whatever. Meanwhile Foxy gathers all of us for her Fab Ab Workout. (Seriously, this woman should have a series of workout videos.) There were crunches, leg lifts, partner work...all kinds of fun fare. We squatted and stepped in a circle. And I know I'll hurt tomorrow.

Anyway, the lights never came back on, they dismissed us a few minutes after 9. We commence Day 2 of assessments Sunday morning.

I have more time to gain confidence. I will pass my assessments. I WILL!

Granny Practice

Just remember that I forgot to blog about Monday's Granny Practice. Well, to sum it up, it KICKED my ass. It was super intense.

The first drill was something that should be simple, weaving through a paceline. We had 2 parallel pacelines and you had to stay with your partner around the track. The partners at the back weaved up and when they got to the front, they raced the 2 people at the front of the line around the back. Then the people who were just at the front weaved through. Except for the the first partners, everybody raced, weaved, then raced again. This was the fastest paceline I've ever been a part of. After I raced, I tried like hell to maintain my place, but I couldn't. I was struggling and falling back. Rox kept giving me little pushes to help me, but I was panting. I went to the middle when I just felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my brain. I grabbed some water and took a few deep breaths and right when I thought about going back to the paceline, I felt dizzy and lightheaded. No bueno. I sat out the rest of the drill.

Then we did something where we paired up and knocked our partners out of bounds, then cut across the track to maximize the inconvenience for the out of bounds skater. It wound up in a lot of backwards skating, which just confused me.

We did a relay where we skated to the first cone, did a single knee, 180 degree turn, skated back, turned around, skated to the next cone, did a plow stop, skated back, skated to the far cone, did a tomahawk stop (or a double knee fall) and skated all the way back. Meanwhile, the rest of our team was squatting. I can do a power stop, I have done them, but I was unable to. I think I fell or otherwise screwed up both times. I need to work on my transitions to backwards skating at speed. Usually, I just fall.

Anyway, my skating was totally off after Sunday's suckage. I think I've lost all confidence in my skating ability. This does not bode well for my chances of passing my assessments this go-round. But I guess I need to work the nerves out. So, if I do manage to pass, congrats to me. But if I don't, that too is fine. I'll be all that much more prepared next time.

Also, my left ear is waterlogged and I've lost most of my hearing in it which, if it doesn't clear up by tomorrow, is SERIOUSLY going to complicate things.

I'm shaken, but I still know why I want to do this, so I consider that a success.

Assessments, Day 1

I did all that psyching myself out yesterday and today and let me just say, it screwed me. Our assessing training folks were Rosie, Fister, and Foxy.

Started out with the rules test, which I ALSO psyched myself out about. I just sat there thinking, "I don't know any of this. Shit. I'm gonna fail. Ack." I was unfamiliar with ALL of the bonus ref hand signals. But Fister graded the tests and I passed. I missed 5, but got ALL 4 bonus signals correct, meaning I passed.

From there, we busted into the 25 in 5. I counted for Hope, and poor Hope was hurting. She had food poisoning and was not skating at her best. I'm hoping she feels better by now and I'm certain she'll do better Thursday. I finished with a time of 4:46 (again). I didn't actually know that until much later. But, hey, I passed!

I was so nervous I was shaking when we started doing skills. My legs were shaking AND numb. And my feet quickly went to sleep and occasionally felt like cement blocks.

I did well with the focus, except for apparently standing up. I came up with a clever way to properly determine the number of fingers up. Sometimes the granny cocks her hand funny and it becomes hard to see what fingers are up. BUT if you look at her hand, you can see how many fingers are in. I failed pacing, but I think we all did.

I failed some really silly little things. I failed t-stops, for instance. And plow stops. And a bunch of stuff because my form was off. BUT I did not fail out, so I'm optimistic. I've got a few skills to re-do, I already re-did t-stops.

Fister invited all of us to come to Granny Practice tomorrow night, so I look forward to getting the snot beat out of me. And then, re-doing all my skills I failed, and passing all of Thursday's skills.

I need to get low, wide, and confident!