This Morning...

I should've gone to practice. But I couldn't. I was not in a place emotionally to do so. And I had a lot of trouble convincing myself to take off my warm jammies and get into tights. I couldn't face the warehouse at 30 degrees. I missed the point where I had to leave to be able to take the bus on time...

Anyway, I feel crappy about it. I need to go skating soon to make up for my lameness this morning.

I know this isn't a strictly derby-update, but it's related...

Parade

Twas the parade today. Oh yeah. Waking up early to go walk in the rain. Those roller girls, man, they really make it worthwhile.

It was raining. And cold. And everybody was freezing. I was glad I had not passed assessments and was walking, because I wore jeans!

The roller girls had a LOT of fun. It was fun to be around them. They were skatin' around, actin' a fool. We had some guests from out of town and one of them was jumping over girls.

We were in front of the Charlotte Royals, our favorite rugby boys. They were in good spirits despite everything.

A fun time was had by all.

I went home and watched the parade and though football wrap-up delayed the broadcast, it did come on eventually and there I was, RIGHT in front of the camera. Teehee. They missed the jump that Jess did in the area. (They also cut the Royals, which I was sad about...)

Then I went to Golden Corral and pigged out.

(I know, this was not the most eloquent post I've ever written, but I'm tired and full. Forgive me.)

Assessments, Day 2, Take 2

I would love to say I passed. I would. But I cannot. I had to quit assessing due to injury.

So this morning, we had quite a mixed bag. Grannies, newbies, brand newbies, assessing newbies, and a ref. (Yay Scuzzy!)

We all warmed up and the trainers asked us to do 25 laps non-derby direction. Seemed daunting. Not in a pack. It wasn't timed. So we start. I'm not bad at non-derby direction, though I'm used to doing it outside the track, so I turn a little wide. Anyway, I'm proud to say that I kept up with Jack the Maniac, one of our fastest skaters, until she lapped me somewhere in the 20s.

I felt kind of off. My skates felt weird. I didn't think it would be a good day...

We then began with Day 2 stuff. We didn't quite realize it though. We did a paceline with weaving. I thought I did well, but I have no idea. Except for the second time when I fell. But I got right back up and continued.

We did whips and such next. I think I might've passed arm whips. I did well. Next was hip whips. First we took them and I did well with that. Then we gave them. This is where it happened. Someone came up and took a hip whip from me. I went down. I twisted and flailed and went down right on my knee. No slide. Straight down. I got up and kept skating and another granny took a hip whip from me. Down again, same knee. I went to the center and sat down, tried stretching the knee. I got up, gingerly, and tried to continue. We moved on to pushes after that, but I had to sit out.

They asked me if I thought I could continue or if I'd have to quit. Weighing my options, I elected to stop. They asked if I'd be able to continue with the other newbies or not. I said I'd like to ice my knee for a bit first. I managed to get up again, but squatting hurt, so I just very tenderly skated.

So I quit, but for my own good. It did not hurt my pride (much), I knew I was doing it for the benefit of my body. If I'd passed and injured my knee further, I'd have to sit out practice/scrimmage. If I'd failed and injured my knee further, I wouldn't be able to schedule any redos to be able to pass. So January assessments, here I come.

Yes, I Can!

You know, the other day, I experienced a lapse in faith. I started thinking that I wasn't ready to pass assessments, I wasn't ready to become a granny. I doubted my abilities. I doubted everything.

And it totally screwed me.

Gone was the, "I am GOING to pass assessments" mentality. In its place was, "I don't think I can."

It was not a good thing. I screwed up some stuff on Sunday that I really should not have. And then Monday night was just a marathon of suck. I was frightened of what mysterious things a granny practice would reveal.

(Ok, I had a brief hiatus because my cat decided I could not blog, I had to love her.)

Anyway, it was all bullshit. Doubting myself caused me to screw up. I went into last night, still nervous, but more positive about my chances, and it made a huge difference. I was able to execute several successful plow stops, my derby stance was better, it was just generally a better mindset.

It's ok to be scared, but it's not ok to let that prevent me from trying my absolute best. Yeah, I'm not as practiced with some of these skills, but that doesn't mean I can't try.

Also, I went down the list of skills and instead of agonizing over what I didn't pass, I congratulated myself on what I did pass. I got my 25 in 5. I didn't know if I'd be able to do that. That was a big deal. I passed every single fall. And I didn't put my hands on the floor during a single one. Single-knee left and right; single-knee, 180 degree; baseball slide; "6-point"...I did all of those. I'm proud of that. I passed stepping and hopping. I passed focusing. I passed my rules test. Every single one of these things is an accomplishment.

So I'm glad the lights went out last night. Gave me time to reflect before I go hit some bitches!

Assessments, Day 2

So this evening, we were to get there at the same time as normal practice (7:30 pm) and warm up with everyone and then we'd squeeze in our redos, and start doing our Day 2 skills. Foxy was hatin on my tutu. I was super psyched and more than a little nervous.

They had us skate around and practice things while they did the 25 in 5. One of us had to redo that skill. So I worked on getting used to the colder floor.

Aside: Our floor is a concrete floor, I hear it's a little faster than what we bout on, but having never used it...anyway, it's gotten chilly in our warehouse as it gets cold down here in the South. So the molecules and stuff in the concrete don't warm up as much. Thusly the floor is faster, less grippy. We've been noticing this at least since last Monday's scrimmage.

So I failed t-stops and plows on Day 1 (Sunday). I fell on 2 of my plow stops. I spent some time working on those today. I refined my technique to work with the floor. I worked on my stickyskating also.

So they get done with the 25 in 5 and the grannies start a non-derby direction pack drill. I head to grab my water and join the other assessers when SUDDENLY the lights go out. We've had the lights not come on, but no one seems to have encountered them going out like that.

So the offskates folks start trying to trip the brakers, flip lights, reset...whatever. Meanwhile Foxy gathers all of us for her Fab Ab Workout. (Seriously, this woman should have a series of workout videos.) There were crunches, leg lifts, partner work...all kinds of fun fare. We squatted and stepped in a circle. And I know I'll hurt tomorrow.

Anyway, the lights never came back on, they dismissed us a few minutes after 9. We commence Day 2 of assessments Sunday morning.

I have more time to gain confidence. I will pass my assessments. I WILL!

Granny Practice

Just remember that I forgot to blog about Monday's Granny Practice. Well, to sum it up, it KICKED my ass. It was super intense.

The first drill was something that should be simple, weaving through a paceline. We had 2 parallel pacelines and you had to stay with your partner around the track. The partners at the back weaved up and when they got to the front, they raced the 2 people at the front of the line around the back. Then the people who were just at the front weaved through. Except for the the first partners, everybody raced, weaved, then raced again. This was the fastest paceline I've ever been a part of. After I raced, I tried like hell to maintain my place, but I couldn't. I was struggling and falling back. Rox kept giving me little pushes to help me, but I was panting. I went to the middle when I just felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my brain. I grabbed some water and took a few deep breaths and right when I thought about going back to the paceline, I felt dizzy and lightheaded. No bueno. I sat out the rest of the drill.

Then we did something where we paired up and knocked our partners out of bounds, then cut across the track to maximize the inconvenience for the out of bounds skater. It wound up in a lot of backwards skating, which just confused me.

We did a relay where we skated to the first cone, did a single knee, 180 degree turn, skated back, turned around, skated to the next cone, did a plow stop, skated back, skated to the far cone, did a tomahawk stop (or a double knee fall) and skated all the way back. Meanwhile, the rest of our team was squatting. I can do a power stop, I have done them, but I was unable to. I think I fell or otherwise screwed up both times. I need to work on my transitions to backwards skating at speed. Usually, I just fall.

Anyway, my skating was totally off after Sunday's suckage. I think I've lost all confidence in my skating ability. This does not bode well for my chances of passing my assessments this go-round. But I guess I need to work the nerves out. So, if I do manage to pass, congrats to me. But if I don't, that too is fine. I'll be all that much more prepared next time.

Also, my left ear is waterlogged and I've lost most of my hearing in it which, if it doesn't clear up by tomorrow, is SERIOUSLY going to complicate things.

I'm shaken, but I still know why I want to do this, so I consider that a success.

Assessments, Day 1

I did all that psyching myself out yesterday and today and let me just say, it screwed me. Our assessing training folks were Rosie, Fister, and Foxy.

Started out with the rules test, which I ALSO psyched myself out about. I just sat there thinking, "I don't know any of this. Shit. I'm gonna fail. Ack." I was unfamiliar with ALL of the bonus ref hand signals. But Fister graded the tests and I passed. I missed 5, but got ALL 4 bonus signals correct, meaning I passed.

From there, we busted into the 25 in 5. I counted for Hope, and poor Hope was hurting. She had food poisoning and was not skating at her best. I'm hoping she feels better by now and I'm certain she'll do better Thursday. I finished with a time of 4:46 (again). I didn't actually know that until much later. But, hey, I passed!

I was so nervous I was shaking when we started doing skills. My legs were shaking AND numb. And my feet quickly went to sleep and occasionally felt like cement blocks.

I did well with the focus, except for apparently standing up. I came up with a clever way to properly determine the number of fingers up. Sometimes the granny cocks her hand funny and it becomes hard to see what fingers are up. BUT if you look at her hand, you can see how many fingers are in. I failed pacing, but I think we all did.

I failed some really silly little things. I failed t-stops, for instance. And plow stops. And a bunch of stuff because my form was off. BUT I did not fail out, so I'm optimistic. I've got a few skills to re-do, I already re-did t-stops.

Fister invited all of us to come to Granny Practice tomorrow night, so I look forward to getting the snot beat out of me. And then, re-doing all my skills I failed, and passing all of Thursday's skills.

I need to get low, wide, and confident!

Tomorrow

I am nearing the end of the most hectic time of my life. You see I volunteered with this charity event, Gay Bingo and last night and tonight were our big nights. The show is done. This was the final one. And this morning, CLTRG had a little invited scrimmage with the ladies of Appalachian Roller Girls. It was pretty awesome. We won despite a severe difference in roster numbers, but App didn't make it easy. I did outside whiteboard again. A super easy job, allowing me beaucoup time to watch. And our own Jack the Maniac and Pamela Ander-slam reffed.

Anyway, assessments start tomorrow morning and I am nervous like a moose. Seriously, I'm terrified. I keep trying to tell myself, "Day 1 is easy stuff. You can TOTALLY do knee drops and 6-point falls," but it isn't working. I feel like I'm gonna fail the written test hardcore. And I feel like crying. How am I gonna get any sleep tonight? Damn.

I'm even more terrified for what's coming Thursday night, because I am WAY less familiar with pack stuff. I've done Johnny Crashes...um once. The practice where I learned them. And I was very uncomfortable with getting my skate in front of the girl. I'm just imagining scenarios where I forget my mouth guard or something dumb. I'd rather take a math test everyday this week.

I need to focus on the positive. And sleep. And stop being sick. But really, sleeping is the most likely. So I'm getting off here and going to bed.

Scriiiiiiiimmmmmmmmage

So there was scrimmage last night (bringing me up to 17 practices).

Initially I was supposed to be action tracking, but then my job got jacked. So instead, I wrangled. Except that there were no outside refs and no outside whiteboard, so it was just making sure the penalty trackers heard the inside refs. And also chilling with Laura, Shelley, Caitlin, and Rene.

We had the league meeting before warm-ups. (I know I'm going backwards here.) The theme seemed to be (and Kathy said it), we heard from the President, VP, Skater Liasion, Treasurer, Head of Bout Production...all of whom are newly elected. Largely it was about communication. And clearing up what the Skater Liasion's role is. It was good. I'm glad I was able to attend.

Then I warmed up with the grannies. I was noticing that I had some problems stopping. I JUST cleaned my wheels yesterday, so I figured I must be losing grip on my wheels. Later, I heard some of the grannies having the same problems. They said, all through scrimmage, they were slipping and sliding and having a lot of trouble staying in bounds. So I feel better. I emailed the Warehouse Maven and expressed my concern, she said she'd be in there tonight to check it out.

Anyway, scrimmage was great. Hellin racked up some penalties, haha. Went to Solstice afterward. Ate some delicious foods. Went home.

16 Practices, Guys!

Once again, creating this post to remind myself to blog. I will later. My boyfriend's asking the computer of me.

Ok, now for some posting.

So, I set an alarm for 5 til 8 for this morning. I woke up and shut off the alarm and continue to lay in bed awhile, then I decided to look at the clock and it said 8:43. I was all, "Hell, wtf? No coffee for me, gotta. Go. Now." But then I looked at my phone, which said it was 7:43. I thought my boyfriend had sabotaged me. I later realized it was Daylight Saving Time. I apologized to Josh later for accusing him.

DERBY this morning. Well first of all, it was freeeeeeezing in the warehouse. For once, I was cold. But only the parts of me that touched the floor.

Lucy Kwipment led practice. She's...well, she's been offskates for about 3 months, due a knee injury (torn ACL, ack!) and will be offskates probably for another 2 months. She doesn't plan to full-contact derby (children and all that), but will return to skates to help with training. I told her she ought to start helping with assessments, so she can hit newbies. She's also one of the founding members of the league. Which is super cool.

We did some stuff involving drops and hops. My reverse-derby direction crossovers are getting better. We did some other non-memorable drills. We did SO MUCH WORK with whips. Lucy was explaining hip whips. She said, "Grab her like you're going to ass-fuck her." So that made Sunday morning more interesting. There seems to be a lot of standing up. I'm still kind of sore from Thursday, so I was doing some of that.

And then Lucy said those infamous words. Well, not immediately. She said, "Ok, let's split up and do 5 laps in a minute. Then let's do 5 in 25. Wait...whoa. I mean 25 in 5." Still, 25 in 5. Those are the words.

I haven't done 25 in 5 as an individual in a few weeks. The last 2 times we've done it as a pack. And the last time I did 25 in 5, I was still using my sneaker skates. I don't know if I've discussed my previous skates. But they have rubber wheels. There is no coasting to happen. I stop pushing, I stop moving. Anyway, so, this was my first individual 25 in 5 in my Sure Grips, and my time came in 4:46 (I think). I lay down in the middle and almost cried. Seriously. That was such a big relief. Now if I can do it again, next Sunday, AND manage to do stuff afterward.

At the end of practice, we had introduction circle/cool down. Some of the grannies did not know us all. I gave my name and intended derby name and it was well-received. I've been to 16 practices as of today (and I'll be going to scrimmage tomorrow night!), and will soon get to submit my name.

Tonight's Practice...

...was extra exhausting.

So I got on the internets, did some stuff, iced my back, and took a shower, COMPLETELY forgetting to update my blog. I'm fixing that now.

So tonight was a semi-last minute extended prep practice. There was a call for grannies who could stay to help assist with the training. But that's afterward. Here's regular practice.

Did some offskates warm-ups, then we did this drill called Montreal. It involves a sort of paceline where you all jog in place and someone weaves through the line, juking and faking right and left up to the front. We did it til we ran out of warehouse. No good for me. My body is not meant to run or jog. Not even in place. So my ankles was not loving it. My mentor says her calves hurt everytime she does it, so I feel better.

Anyway, right before Montreal, I was talking to a newbie and said something about 25 in 5. "What's that?" she said. I was taken aback for a fraction of a second and calmly explained it was the 25 laps in 5 minutes drill. She said she'd never done that. I told her not to tell anyone that. SHO NUFF, as soon as the grannies started doing their drills and we newbies head to the center, P. Hole says, "25 in 5." I locked eyes with the aforementioned newbie.

P. Hole said she knew we'd done 25 in 5 as a pack last week and whether we'd prefer to do it as a pack or as individuals. There was much talk of how we needed to work on the pack bit. I mentioned that we'd only done 25 in 5 as a pack once, so we quickly decided to do that. Our last time was 7:23. We did it in 2 packs of 5. My pack was first. We did extremely well. We kept it packed up pretty well the whole time. Our time came in at 5:36. Not bad.

I would like to say right now that I love P. Hole as a trainer. She says "bitch" and "shit" so often. She calls gear "bullshit." She told us we'd be rejoining "those bitchfaces over there." I smiled internally.

The rest of our drills involved non-derby direction pyramid laps and squats and stickyskating and fun stuff like that. We rejoined the "bitchfaces" and did wall-sits, which involved much ass-busting. I fell twice. I don't even remember what the rest of practice was like.

Cut to: cooldown for lame-os who was leaving at regular time, and a brief break for those of us staying. I took a pee break, and braved the treacherous path to the bathroom in my skates. I get back and Foxy starts talking about what we'll be doing which is largely pack work.

We start out locking wheels in a pack. My mentor was targeting me. And apparently there's an unspoken rule that you can pull on or lean on your mentee at any time. I accidentally tripped Psy, sorry!

So we progressed to bumps and hits in a pack. The grannies hit us gently and we absorbed and tried to stay in the pack.

Then they got to go "balls out" or "no mercy." Oh my ow. Hellin once again targeted me. I think I won for most time on the floor. Psy hit me good, then IMMEDIATELY after, Foxy slammed me and I went down. It wasn't enough to make me forget what day it was, but I definitely had to think about what direction to get up in. I was whacked so many times. And so many shoulder hits. I fell either small or outside the track as much as possible. I got slammed good and hard several times. Enough to damn near clear my sinuses.

I think we did unexpected obstacles next, which I was surprisingly good at. It reminded me of being at Northwest again with unpredictable middle schoolers. They're just all over the place. And until I tripped over Fister and absolutely did not fall small.

This is when I started hurting bad. My back stopped wanting to arch, my feet were in intense pain and cramping and asleep.

We worked on Johnny Crashes next which is something I've never done. At least not with contact. I worked with Hellin. I wasn't bad at it for my first time. I need to work on keeping elbows out of the game, popping up into the hit and popping back down, and aiming it properly. We're aiming for the mid-boob (or sternum, but that's not what we call it in derby). Hellin told me to watch and aim at her chest for now, but to work on being able to do it without because, in a bout, if I aim, she'll know what I'm gonna do before I do it.

Then we did a paceline and crashed through it. I need to work on being comfortable with one skate in front of the girl I'm hitting. And widening my stance. I had tried widening earlier in the evening and it was a no go.

Anyway, I'm tired and need to switch ice packs, so that's all for now, I think I covered everything.

I got hit hard. Assessments are next week. I'm still pushing myself to pass them. Hugs and bruises!